Just call me q

A woman contemplating life, incognito

What Could Be Better Than A Shelf Full Of Knick-knacks?

Mar
30

In answer to the above question: nothing. And that’s why I had some shelves put up in my ‘flamingo pink’ kitchen in order to show them off. Here, take a look at these photos; especially the last one. I absolutely love it… even if noone else does.

Photo of two white Pyrex mugs with pink, orange and brown flower pattern.

It doesn’t matter how thirsty anyone is NOONE touches these mugs.

Photo of three small pink plastic heart-shaped containers with lids.

Yes, they are ridiculously small and totally impractical but they’re pink and they’re heart-shaped and that is enough.

photo of front of a 1940's 1950's tin with red, pink and yellow roses.

(The front of my flowery tin.) If I could turn this into wallpaper, oh, believe me… I would.

Photo of plastic drinking cup in shape of a peach with green drinking straw.

This peach cup with leaf straw wasn’t even mine… but it is now.

Photo of a framed photo of a cat dressed in bomber jacket dj-ing.

Please do not tell me that the cat is stuffed and has been positioned like this cos I think I will cry.

Photo of a red wire fruit bowl in the shape of an apple.

I know. This ‘apple’ is crying out to be filled with oranges and bananas. Give us a chance…

Photo of a mosaic - made out of paper squares - of a flamingo's head.
.

This beautiful mosaic was the inspiration for the whole kitchen and, yes, it IS a flamingo.

Photo of white kitchen shelves with peachy pink walls and shelves filled with kitsch, retro, tacky and gaudy knick-knacks like cook books, tins, cups and photo.

And finally, here are my shelves. Yes, I know. They ARE lovely, aren’t they?

A Poem About #Plastic & Whales & Supermarkets…

Mar
23

I wrote this poem (on Twitter) to @BBCEarth  and @BBCScienceNews after reading about the poor juvenile whale in the Philippines that died recently and was found to have 40kg of plastic in its stomach. It’s so sad but what’s even sadder is that it’s not an isolated incident.

Here’s the news link if you want to read it:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-47608949

Dear @asda & @Tesco & @sainsburys & @waitrose & @marksandspencer & @AldiUK & @LidlGB & everyone else,

“It makes me so sad to see this whale.

He’s a victim of #plasticpollution.

Please RAISE THE PRICE of your #plastic bags

Until we can find a solution.”

Love from Q x

6 Reasons Why Blogging Is Hard

Mar
15

1) You have to know stuff about computers or else you won’t know if anyone has looked at your work. (I have a ‘technical man’ who helps me do this.)

cartoon picture of two people and a computer with speech bubbles

2) Sometimes no-one looks at your work (apart from you and your ‘technical man’ and he’s only looking ‘cos you pay him.)

cartoon picture of two people and a computer with speech bubbles

3) You have to be consistent with your blog-posting ie: weekly/monthly/bi-monthly (even if 2).

cartoon picture of two people and a computer with speech bubbles

4) You have to sit on your butt quite a lot which can lead to a big botty… unless – of course – it was already big (see http://www.justcallmeq.co.uk/me-and-my-big-botty/) in which case I mean bigger.)

picture of outline of pink glittery bottom

5) You don’t know if people are looking at your work because they’ve a) stumbled across it by accident or because they were b) purposefully looking for it (see 4). (Your ‘technical man’ may be able to help you here but I would strongly suggest ‘having words’ if he sniggers when doing so.)

cartoon picture of two people and a computer with speech bubbles

6) You may get a lot of spam (see 4) by the people mentioned in 5b. (Again, if your ‘technical man’ sniggers, as did mine, feel free to administer those strong words unless his snigger turns into a full-on laugh. If it turns into a full-on laugh then do what I did… sack him!)

cartoon picture of two people and a computer with speech bubbles

Dear @GreenpeaceUK…

Mar
10
Cartoon picture of two people sitting at a table talking about #plastic (with speech bubbles).

Last night I confessed

to my friend, “I’m obsessed,”

(when she came round my house for some tea)

“’bout the stuff in my bin

and the world we live in;

 and I want to go #plasticfree.”

Photo of a bamboo eco-friendly flamingo pictured coffee cup.

She said “what… #noplastic?

Well, that sounds fantastic.

If you want I can join in too.

We’ll do #PlasticFreeLent,

help the #environment

and use cups made of glass or bamboo.”

Cartoon picture of person with megaphone and wearing a black cloak with slogan #singleuseplastic must stop.

“Yes, we’ll #breakfreefromplastic;

it wont be that drastic.

We’ll use hessian bags when we shop.

And tell @asda and @tesco and @aldi and the rest – o

that #singleuseplastic must stop.”

Cartoon picture of a wheelie-bin and a devil and an angel's head wither side to symbolize #hero and #zero.

“And, yes, we will vow”

(It was my turn now)

“to make #plastic a #MortalSin.

 #Biodegradable = #hero,

# nonrecyclable = #zero;

and only heroes get to go in my bin.”

Cartoon picture of two people slumped over a table talking about Greenpeace.

And we chatted excitedly

 well into the night (edly?),

and at dawn I said “I know who

might know the solution

to #plasticpollution;

It’s #greenpeace so, tell me. Do you?”

Love from Q x

Spring Cleaning

Mar
01

Sprucing Up The Panes

Cartoon picture of lady staring at dirty windows and speech bubble saying "oh, I just know that cleaning this window will set off a chain of events that'll lead to nothing short of disaster..."

If you get the urge to do a spot of spring cleaning over the coming weeks do not, under any circumstances, attempt to clean the inside of your windows. No, because it will set off a whole chain of events that’ll lead to nothing short of disaster. And how do I know this to be true? Well, because that’s exactly what happened to me when I decided – a week ago – to spruce up my panes so that the window-cleaner would know exactly which was his dirt and which was mine the next time he came to visit.

Deep Joy

Cartoon picture of a view of a neighbours' conservatory from a window with man in conservatory saying "Oi! What you staring at, luv?"

Oh, don’t get me wrong, the results (which took just over a day and a half) were spectacular: glistening glass, deep joy and a clear view of the rear neighbours’ conservatory, but it then meant that the frames had to be done to match. So I opened the windows – in order to access all the hidden surface areas – but there was so much dirt, dust, spiders and mud lodged in the recesses that I was forced to spend a further day and a half hoovering that out too.

Bottle Of Cif

Cartoon picture of Cif cleaning agent and a toothbrush.

And it didn’t stop there. Oh, no. Because some of the dirt had become so ingrained I had to go in with a wet toothbrush and a bottle of Cif to finish the job off.

2031

Cartoon picture of ladie's head and diary with speech bubble saying "Oh, it's no good. I really must get a twelve year diary next time..."

Anyway, in the end the whole process took six days and on the seventh day I re… What? No, of course I didn’t rest, silly. I’m not God. No, on the seventh day I realised that, after twelve years of accumulated dirt, it would have been a lot simpler to have just moved house than to try and clean it, and so I made a note in my diary to contact the Estate Agent in 2031 so that I don’t have to go through the whole flippin’ rigmarole again.