No, I’m not lying; I really do have a pancake factory in my back garden and I have three very hard-working girls on the factory floor.
(I used to have four girls helping me out but sadly last week, Semi, my Second-in command ‘moved on.’ Yes, it was an extremely traumatic time for us all and I hope you don’t mind but I’m not quite ready to talk about it yet. One day maybe… but not today, if that’s okay.)
Anyway, back to my hard-working trio (as they now are) and – thanks to them – they’ve made running my fantastic pancake factory a breeze. “How so?” I hear you ask. Well, because each morning at sun-rise they cluck on – whoops, I mean clock on – whether I’m awake or not, and then just get straight on with their work.
They regularly go the eggstra mile for me by producing one egg per laying unit per shift, which is great when I have a particularly large pancake order to fulfill. (What am I saying? I always have a large pancake order to fulfill).
And since day one I can honestly say that I’ve never heard any of them use fowl language. I know; pretty amazing considering their genetics.
And, okay, so I will admit that my lovely ladies don’t live on fresh air. Why, since they’ve kindly agreed to come and work for me they’ve got through (among other things):
6 x 20 kg sacks of pellets (yum),
8 bags of organic porridge (only the best for my team) and
18 packets of dried worms (?!).
But I’m certainly not going to grumble about it because, in 334 days, they’ve supplied me with the grand total of 322 ‘(nest) box-fresh’ eggs which I’ve used to make not only pancakes but also fried eggs, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, poached eggs, egg sandwiches, omelettes, cookies and cakes…
Hey, I’ve just re-read that last bit and how pretty darn great does that sound? I’d be a fool not to ask them if they want to stay on for another year, don’t you think? Yes, so, sorry but I must dash… because I have exactly 22 days to get a fresh contract drawn up for them. With (c)luck the pancake factory WILL continue.