Just call me q

A woman contemplating life, incognito

Keratosis Pilaris Part Two: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Nov
30

 

Having Keratosis Pilaris (or ‘chicken skin’ as cruel people like to call it) is a curse – make no mistake about it. But, sometimes – and I feel a bit strange saying this but nobody knows me so it doesn’t matter – I actually quite enjoy having it.

Yes, because when there’s not much on the telly, and after I’ve fed the cat and put the chickens to bed, I love nothing more than to sit with my legs propped up – a pair of tweezers in one hand and a hot chocolate in the other – and to hunt for any lower leg hairs that have become trapped, through no fault of their own, under my skin.

 

cartoon picture of plucking leg hair with tweezers

 

And, you know, I can’t tell you the amount of hours that I’ve idled away carrying out this quite gross but actually extremely necessary activity (it’s probably double-figures) but I never tire of it… because no hair is ever the same.

Sometimes I get a long one, sometimes I get a curled-up one and sometimes I hit the jackpot with a ‘doubler.’ Woo-hoo! Two for the price of one.

 

cartoon picture of hair follicles

 

And what can I compare the pleasure of plucking to?

Metal-detecting, I suppose… yes, it’s exactly like metal-detecting. You go over the same area a couple of times – “blip-blip” nothing – and then “bleeeeep” you get a doubler. It’s so exciting.

And when I’m done I always feel a slight sense of sadness… but not for long…

because Keratosis Pilaris is the gift that keeps on giving and I know that, provided I don’t use my skin-mitt or flannel or skin-brush for a week or so, they’ll be back and – yeay! – it’ll be ‘tweezer and hot choccy time’ again. I can’t wait.

 

cartoon picture of woman with hot chocolate and pair of tweezers

 

Help! I’m having a breakdown – a collagen breakdown

Sep
21

 

collagen breakdown ageing aging wrinkles crepey crepy saggy skin justcallmeq Q queline

 

The other night I had a dream and this how it went:

 

Me: Doc, can you help me? I think I’m having a breakdown.

Doc: Okay, Q. Talk me through your symptoms, why don’t you?

Me: Well, alright.

1) My skin is really dry and I seem to have way more wrinkles than I used to,

2) my legs have lost their muscle definition and my knees are beginning to sag,

3) the skin on my upper arm has lost its elasticity and is beginning to look all crepey and (last one, Doc, and I’m done)

4) it’s getting thinner in all the wrong places (and by that I mean everywhere except for my butt).

Doc: Now, look. Let me stop you right there! These are not the signs of a person experiencing a decline in their…  Ugghhh! Just STOP wasting my time, will you, and get OUT of my office RIGHT NOW!

Me: No, no, Doc. I think there’s been a misunderstanding… I’m having a collagen breakdown.

Doc: OUT!!

collagen breakdown wrinkles saggy crey crepey skin agin ageing justcallmeq Q queline

 

Actually, I didn’t dream this but I’ve been having a few problems with my skin of late and… I know that the break down of collagen is an unavoidable part of the aging process and… I know that we all have to age but I swear that – some – days I can almost see myself decomposing. Oh, where, oh, where will it end? 

Silly question!

collagen breakdown justcallmeq Q queline cartoon coffin